12/31 - New Years Eve!

Day Six - New Years Eve!

We started off our day with a pleasant breakfast at the 1911 restaurant that is a part of the Inn (included in the price of our stay - yay!)  Then we set off to find the Petoskey Farms Winery & Vineyards.  There is a "trail" of wineries up in the area, which this one is a part of - something to bring us back exploring another time.  We were determined to find ourselves a good bottle to ring in the new year, which we did!  "Love" Sangria... how appropriate.  :)  It was a beautiful drive up to the winery and we were some of the first customers of the day, so we enjoyed a very private tasting.

We drove back sans-GPS for adventure and ended up in downtown Petoskey, where we meandered through shops and found some lunch at Jepeson's - a small diner that has been around for 112 years.  After such strenuous work it was time for a nap before deciding how to celebrate our first New Years together!  We found a gorgeous restaurant in Petoskey (Whitecaps) that was insanely delicious and then we headed up to the Boyne Highlands, a ski resort that was hosting some NYE events.  We caught the torchlight ski parade down their main slope, which was beautiful, and their big fireworks show!  Woohoo!

And now we are counting down the minutes until 2016... I am furiously writing to finish this blog project (reflective post to come... hopefully tomorrow?) and Collin is encouraging me by very purposely ignoring me.  :P  Ah, that's love.  Haha.  Time to turn on the Times Square broadcast and watch it in real time, open that sangria, and enjoy our first New Years Eve midnight kiss!  <3 Looking forward to the many to come.

12/30 - Petoskey

Day Five

It took us a little while to get on the road in Traverse City, but luckily Petoskey isn't too far away - just about an hour or less.  On the way we stopped in Charlevoix for lunch and browsing.  It was such a cute little town!  It was a bit on the cold side as we got up there... After about 20 minutes of driving out of Traverse City we were headed right into a small snow squall, which let up a bit over Charlevoix but not much.  Still it was fun to meander the main street of town in the snow.  We enjoyed poking around the shops.  

Then it was on to Petoskey and the historic Terrace Inn, a place where Collin's family had stayed over 20 years ago and where Collin has some of his earliest memories.  It was fun to see which parts of the building he remembered.  The area that the Inn is in (haha) is essentially entirely summer residences, giving the neighborhood a bit of an abandoned feel.  This also means that it is interesting trying to even get in to the neighborhood, as they close most of the roads to avoid extra plowing work.  Again, smart phones are only so smart.  But we were able to make it and settled into another lovely cozy room.  The building is gorgeous -- definitely has the feel of being potentially haunted... but that's as far as I'll entertain that thought.  :P

We had a hard time deciding on dinner but ended up at Mim's, a hole-in-the-wall Mediterranean place down the road with great reviews.  It was indeed worth it!  Then, another night in of planning our New Years Eve day.  :)

12/29 - Adventures in Falling

Day Four

We woke up to a white-blanketed Traverse City - perfect for cross-country skiing!  This was something I had hoped to get the chance to try while I was here.  :)  We rented gear from a local shop and then headed out to find the Vasa Trail....... which we found eventually, in a very round-about fashion.  Smart phones are only so smart.  Luckily, we found a nice quiet trail, perfect for little beginner me.  And Collin was always incredibly sweet about helping me when I fell down, all five times!  :)

It always felt really good to get back up after falling, no matter how much a particular fall shook me up from how it occurred.  Just the getting back onto your feet again is a kind of accomplishment.  Then when you actually start gliding along, you feel on top of the world.

The scenery was stunning and so peaceful.  A perfect adventure.

Later that day we met up with another set of Collin's relatives, who help manage the resort we were staying at.  It was lovely hearing more memories of his early years.  :P

12/28 - Traverse City

Day Three - The Storm Day

Breakfast at The Inn at Ludington was exquisite and more than enough reason on its own for us to discuss returning someday for a longer stay.

Fueled up, we left for Traverse City on the early side because of storm warnings, though we decided that the scenic route (up M-22) was still an okay way to go, as precipitation wasn't predicted until later in the evening.  We were treated with gorgeous views of wide valleys to the inland and lovely water to the lake side.  And we managed to beat the storm!

We were happily impressed with the Pinestad Reef Resort's set up for our room - practically a one-bedroom apartment style.  And we got in just in time; the snow began just as we were pulling in (my wish came true)!  The flakes were small but it was falling fast and piling up.  We still wanted to get out and do something though, so we braved the weather and the night to catch the new Star Wars movie at a local independent theater - a most excellent decision!  When we got out of the film we could still see the car at least, though the snow was really starting to pile up.  We managed to stock up for dinner and breakfasts at a local grocery and then it was time to stay in for the night and watch the snow cover the beach.  :)

12/27 - Ludington

Day Two and we spent the morning in Frankenmuth before heading on a longer drive across the state to Ludington.  We successfully acquired Frankenmuth fudge and poked around some of the silly little stores before getting on our way.  Our three hour drive across the state was not at all difficult, aided by a true road-trip style lunch, aka Erin feeding Collin crackers, cheese, and ham while he drove.  :)

We made good time to Ludington, where we stayed at the adorable "The Inn at Ludington," which was wonderfully Victorian.  Our room was gorgeous (again pictures when good internet is possible.)  We ran out to catch a glimpse of the Ludington lighthouse at sunset, though we decided to not brave the walk all the way out to the lighthouse as the waves on Lake Michigan were starting to pick up.  Then it was dinner time at a local Italian place where we warmed up with excellent pizza.  It was a night in with the movie Alaska, and planning for the next day's travels as the weather was slated to be quite bad!

12/26 - Frankenmuth

Day One of the Grand Tour of the Mitten State!

We started out by heading to Frankenmuth, a Bavarian town about an hour and a half away from Rochester.  It was so cute!  (Pictures to follow with a better internet connection...)

After a few crazy days of lots of family and new faces, it was wonderful to have some time to ourselves.  We walked around the little town as evening fell and ended up at dinner at the Bavarian Inn restaurant, which was quite tasty and festive.  It was pretty dark by that point so we made points of what to view the next day, though we did stop off at the covered bridge, which was right out of a scene from Anne of Green Gables.  My heart was happy.  :)

12/25 - Family

For me, Christmas is all about family - being together with those we love most, whether that is family we are related to and have grown up with, or family we have chosen.  I have been so lucky to meet and be embraced by a wonderful new family who, hopefully, will come to be my own in the future.  So much of the warmth of this day reminded me of my own family, close and extended.  Home is never far away when you're with the right people.  I am so grateful for the immense love that has been ushered into my life in the form of Collin and all of his family.  <3

12/24 O Holy Night

Oh holy night

When Love came down

A heavenly son born

To wear thorny crown

Yet on this still eve

Let spread o'er the earth

Joy love and peace

From the Blessed One's birth

Home

Home is where the heart is.

Tonight I am home.

Dreams

Oh love of endless years,

I dream of you no more.

Not of your arms and their embrace,

Nor the curve of your lips,

Nor the warmth of your being

That radiates from your heart.

Tomorrow you shall not be of dreams

But of flesh and bone once more.

True Fictions

Her name was Molly - with a Y.  Molly Jane, a Swedish last name.  A ballroom dance competitor and instructor of Swedish and German descent, born and raised in Wichita, Kansas - the East side, wealthier than the West, though she wasn't one of those spoiled girls.

He was from Sicily.  Born in Italy, raised in Argentina.  A cellist, hired with orchestras in New York and Argentina, where he sailed back and forth from often, on cruises, though he loved to teach cello even more than performing. 

It was her dress that caught his eye: a bright silver, the tulle skirt dotted with gold stars.  She shone, whirling among the crowd of other couples on the floor, bright as the first star of the night sky.  He could not stop watching her, almost missing a beat of the reliable waltz pattern.  He caught it, though the first violin eyed him violently regardless.  Germans!

She didn't see him.  She looked at her partner blindly, her mind solely focused on the steps and the counts.  Winning the semi-finals here on the MS Stockholm would guarantee a spot at the finals in New York when they arrived.  It would be her first national ballroom dance prize, she could feel it - the electricity of the dancers, the audience, and the music pulsating through the floor and into her feet, propelled her ever-forward.  

----

"You should 'ave won," a baritone voice said softly behind her, startling her from her pose at the upper deck railing in the evening sea air.

"Oh!" Molly's pink wrap slipped from her shoulders as she turned toward the gentleman.  "Thank you, s--" Her voice caught in her throat as her eyes were caught by the deep brown ones looking into hers.

"No sir.  I am not sir. I am Roberto."  He smiled shyly.  "And you, miss?"

"Molly."  She felt herself turn red from top to bottom as he kissed her gloved hand.  "Were you dancing?  I didn't see you..."

"Oh no!" he laughed. "I do not dance!  I play - la musica - the music.  The cello!"  He mimed the instrument.  "You do not want see me dance!"

Her laugh lit up her eyes and again Roberto saw the stars.  "Well you don't want to hear me play the cello!"

"Well then," he grinned, a bright white against his tanned skin, "we are, 'ow you say, even?"


----

I met Molly Jane tonight and she told me just the beginnings of her story before she had to leave.  But her life sounded fascinating, so I wanted to imagine how she might have met her husband.  :)

Bubbles

Bubbles 

Fizzing in my veins

Spinning in my head

Counting down the hours

Until I bubble over

With joy!

12/18 - Four

Four

Things:
Glasses
Brown jacket
Briefcase
Ring

Three

Sayings:
What does that have to do with the price of eggs in Egypt
Ah, puh
I love you

Two

Memories:
Sitting on the beach under the stars
Watching the dogs under the tree in the park

One

True Love.

12/17 - Thank You, Shia.

12/16 - Repeat

Today was yesterday
All over again
Except with a slightly muted tone
Color bleeding out
Sounds cotton-muffled



Or am I dreaming?

12/15 -

All he wanted was somewhere to be alone in this goddamned city.
----------------

12/14 - Friends

My heart reaches around the world

Meeting yours in fast embrace

How we could last for so many minutes

Ignoring the miles between us

I cannot say

But one look at your faces

And the feeling of the space between us

Came rushing in

Joy and sorrow, melded completely

Together

As we once were, and shall be again

Someday.

12/13 - Saying No

Sometimes we have to say no

To ourselves

And the things we aren't

obligated

to do,

beyond our own feeling that we are

obligated

to do so.

So we say no, 

and it's okay,

the world keeps turning,

and we can breathe a little bit easier,

despite the tinge of guilt

that stains our immortal souls.

12/12 - Perspective

Is what we do

or what we worry about

really worth all of the stress?

Work thoughts.  

Meh.

12/11 - Thinking Ahead

The year is drawing to a close.  Thinking ahead (and tracing behind to try and catch up to the present moment), I imagine what else I might do with this space.  Perhaps I keep it going, just writing with a new focus.  Perhaps I tie it up with a nice ribbon on December 31st (or January 1st, just for good measure) and create a new space.  Next, I want to focus more.  Compose with a more direct purpose.  Except for this last month I have been so consistent.  I think the consistency can now be helped by narrowing the vision.  Fiction is the siren call - to flex the muscles of mind and fingers with worlds and people imagined, though not always entirely unreal.

12/10 - Progression

Personal progression is one thing.
Encouraging it is another.
But its occurrence is equally enticing
And similarly satisfying.

12/9 - She Spoke

She spoke for one thousand and one nights.
What if her voice gave out at one thousand?

Then she would dance.

8/22 - Untitled

For the ones who forget, God becomes a silence, a void that they only know must be filled but they cannot discover with what.

12/7 - Naked

I looked at myself
with my own eyes
And yet I saw with yours.
I saw with Love.
One who is beautiful.
Not perfect,
but lacking flaw.

I love you.

12/8 - O Come Emmanuel

O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appears.

Rejoice, rejoice,
Emmanuel
Shall come to thee,
O Israel.

Tis a season
of waiting,
watching,
hoping
for the sunlight to
break through
the grey;
for the bright lights
to shine
in the night,
sparking joy in hearts;
for the
Light of the World
to re-kindle kindness and compassion
in the souls of the lost,
the weary,
and the broken,
reminding us of our
humanity -
our connection to one another.

O come, Emmanuel.

12/5 - Window Light

Dust
floats in the window light,
caressed by the gentle morning;

it's too early.

But the warmth
of your skin
stirs my heart and my smile

the way the
air currents stir the
dust.

12/4 - Looking Forward

Just two more Fridays,
I was thinking.
We will make it.

(And we did).

12/2 -

I don't know
about this day
What is was
What to say

12/1 - December, Baby

I plan December in July.
It's HERE!
The best time of the year!
And the time where we'll be
Together once more
Is drawing ever so near!

:D

11/30 - Normal

How is there normal?
There is no normal.
Only before and after.
You change me constantly.

Each time we adjust.
In time we adjust.
Soon we'll adjust.
Then normal will change.

11/29 - 3AM

3AM
is kind of like
a nap,
instead of
not enough sleep.

11/28 - no

no
push away tomorrow
morning you are
going
with each tear
ripping through the
heart
of the matter
whats the matter
is i cant stop
i cant stop
i cant stop
time
theres no
time
to stop
tomorrow
no time
no

11/27 - Don't Let Go

I'm holding
tight
to the moment
Too tight
because I don't
want to let go
But it only seems
to move faster
than if
I let it be
So I will let it go
hoping it won't
let go of me.

I Don't Promise

I don't promise

To always be there for you,

To care for you in illness,

Or pain,

To carry you in weakness,

To lift you up through doubt,

To hold your hand through trials,

To go with you where life leads.

I don't promise these things.

Because promises are things people break.

I sing these things.

They are the melody of my soul 

And I sing them

To the universe and all creation.

That is the only way I know how to tell you

That I will love you always. 

Promises alone shall never be enough,

Shall never truly express

This One Truth.

So I shall sing to you

The melody of my soul

That is completed in each moment 

By your love.

11/26 - Thankful

I am thankful for love -- all the forms of love in my life: dear friends all over the world, a family always by my side, the love and guidance of a merciful God, and the heart that holds my own.  I wept tears of overwhelmed joy today.  Life has always been moving forward and up, no matter when I thought it wasn't or that love in all of these ways was impossible for me.

No one is alone in this world.  There is love abounding, in any of these ways, just waiting to be discovered and cherished and rejoiced in.

I pray that we can all find it for ourselves and share it with the world that is so desperately in need for more.

11/25 - Father Dearest

First man of my heart,

Don't go too hard on the other man of my heart, okay?  ;)

Love,
Daughter Eldest

11/24 - Still Love Me

Still love me,
even when we travel
way too early in the morning?
<3 :)

11/23 - Rest

Rest:

here in my arms,

where I shall tell the world

to be still;

here on my breast,

where I am strong enough

for your worries;

here over my heart

where I love you
more than myself.

11/22 - Enough

You are finished and complete.  You are enough.  You do not have to try to do more to be who you are, to express your heart to the world.  Simply allow the breath to begin and let the song come from your heart.

The Horse

It is a little difficult to get back on the horse when you've jumped off and walked beside it for a little bit of time.  Blog not forgotten or given up, simply paused for the break to enjoy full time with loved ones.  However, I meant to begin again and catch up on Sunday/Monday of this week... Here we go!

Where You Go

Where you go, I will go

Where you stay, I will stay

I am yours, as you are mine

For forever and a day

Without you I cannot be

Just as stars cannot shine

Without the blanket of night

So I am yours and you are mine.

One

One day

Til your arms

Your smile

Your eyes looking

Directly into mine.

<3

A Year Ago

A year ago I would not have guessed how in love I would be today.

A year ago I could not have known that such feelings were even possible.

A year ago I had just started getting to know you.

Oh to think of a year from now and all that is yet to be known!

I love you - every day, for every year of the rest of our lives.

Good News

I asked friends for their good news today and my heart was lifted. Whether big or small, people had wonderful things to share about their lives or their days. Life is perspective. We find our happiness from ourselves and how we choose to see the world. Shit happens. Shitty, awful things happen in this world. But we have so much power in the choice we make about whether we let the muck, the dirt, and the darkness overtake us or not. Don't let go of your light, your compassion, your hope, your joy. Whether your light is blinding, a roaring blaze, a single ray, or a mere shimmer, choose it and believe in it. Let others help you kindle it. Because the world needs your light to help see through the dark.

The Point of Everything

Love:

Give and receive it.

Celebrate and cherish it.

Share it freely.

Allow it to reach you.

Let it protect you.

Let it heal you.

Let it support and sustain you.

Let it move you.

Let it change you.

6

  

11/15 - Love Enters In

Love enters in
And gathers the nations
To peace at one table
To share in one cup.

Love enters in
With grace and forgiveness,
A light in the darkness
To heal broken hearts.

So let us give thanks
And sing praise to the One
Who chose us in love
Through the life of the Son.

And as we gather together
To glory in Him,
Let us stand open-hearted
As Love enters in.

Saturday Song

7 days, my love.

Priez pour paix

Priez pour paix

Douce Vierge Marie,

Reine des cieux et du monde maîtresse,

Faites prier, par votre courtoisie,

Saints et Saints, et prenez votre adresse

Vers votre Fils, requérant sa Hautesse

Qu’il lui plaise son peuple regarder,

Que de son song a voulu racheter,

En déboutant guerre qui tout dévoie.

De prières ne vous vueillez lasser.

Priez pour paix, priez pour paix,

Le vrai trésor de joie.

-----

Pray for peace

Gentle Virgin Mary,

Queen of the skies and Mistress of the world,

of your courtesy, ask for the prayers

of all the saints, and make your address

to your Son, beseeching his Majesty

that he may please to look upon his people,

whom he wished to redeem with his blood,

banishing war which disrupts all.

Do not cease your prayers.

Pray for peace, pray for peace,

the true treasure of joy.

~ Charles d’Orléans, 1938, published in Le Figaro in Paris, France, just before the start of WWII

Set to music by Francis Poulenc.

Rapture

In these gifts you give this earth

I hear

I feel

Your soul.

This is not mere fantasy

Nor an echo of a dream;

it is a knowing 

Of all the beauty inside you

Poured out for others.

Another time I shall peruse

The pensive attitude 

Plaguing me with wonderings:

Why me

How am I worthy of

Such feeling, of such knowing?

For now I shall lay down my head,

Open to the wondrous rapture

Of you,

And peacefully I shall rest.

The Gravity

That night

My soul felt the gravity

Before my head

Or heart

Could wrap tendrils of thought

Around your affections.

That night

My soul read the future

From the palm of your

Open heart.

That night 

My soul knew what had to be

And so fell 

Into your open arms

That had been waiting for me

For eternity.

11/10

Take your time

And let things heal.

Don't rush

Back into life

The way you want to

Or the way you think

You should.

My Heart

My heart, to all things, but especially one thing, shouts an exuberant YES!

13

Sending surprises

Sharing dreams

Calling out of the blue

Making time

Sharing laughter

Making plans

Admiring achievements and talents

Supporting goals

Being honest and vulnerable

Taking care of both ourselves and each other

Sharing challenges and burdens

Sending dog pictures :)

Taking chances and believing in good

Love is

Make it Through

With you

I'll make it through.

All you are to me

Helps me see the light.

With you

I'll make it through.

Every joy you bring

Makes every day so bright.

And so I'll make it through

I won't give up the fight

I will make it through

To be with you.

Brave

Alone I'm not scared,

But with you I'm brave.

Alone I'm not weak,

But with you I'm strong.

Alone I stand firm,

But with you I conquer.

Alone I exist,

But with you I live.

11/5 Brief Wisdom

Be dependable,

Reliable,

These traits will get you far.

There Are People

There are people

Who, when faced with the question of love,

Will quote the improbability, according to statistics,

That a life with someone else beside you really will turn out.

There are people

Who hide themselves away from 

The openness it takes

To maybe, perhaps, fall for someone,

Because they're afraid of the statistically-likely heartbreak.

There are people

Who keep themselves away from

The openness love takes

By melting down the heart to prevent the feeling,

Melting down the heart to avoid the feeling

Beyond physical need.

There are people...

They're the "they" of "they say" 

When we say that "they say that..." followed by

A made up statistic to defend and deny

Our own fears at the feeling of

Loving,

Loving and maybe losing.

But what about loving and maybe... Keeping?

There are people

Who might say that we, you and I, are statistically improbable.

I don't know if I agree.

But the one thing I do know,

Is we defy some kind of odds...

Because I'm not afraid of the losing,

Because I know it's you I'm choosing,

Today

And every day.

It's just you and me... Not they. 

There are people... And then there's us.

Rest

Rest, dear heart,

And ride on the wings of whispered melodies

Through the velvet night where,

In the realm existing beyond

Distance and dreams,

You and I may rest

Together

Always in each other's arms.  

I Couldn't

I couldn't ask for anything more.

Search for Inspiration

It's there, somewhere.
Out among the floating wisps
Of thought and ideas.
Elusive, tentative
Awaiting just the right grasp,
A tickle, a nudge,
To emerge from the fray
And whisper the song
Into the heart of its seeker.

Today

Today was a full day of singing and as much as I stressed about it, all of it was fun and so fulfilling.

Pre-audition selfie:

Mid-show selfie:

I'm doing this whole "singing for a living" thing. How cool is that?!

10/30 Spare Some Change?

Can you spare some change?

I shake my head, "No, sorry," with a weak smile, thinking of the few bills and coins I have stashed in my wallet.  I make it a point to not give money, usually.  When I have the time I offer to buy some food.  I aspire to have something substantial and ready to hand to those who ask - a pair of socks stuffed with some filling snack foods and some personal essentials like a toothbrush or deodorant.

But, like most people I think, when I hear "Spare some change" I think of dollars and cents.

That happened today and I continued on, thinking nothing of it.  Until BAM - a thought that struck to the very core of my heart: What about change?

Do you have something to change my life?
To change my day?
To change my moment?
Can you spare some part of your self to change a part of my own story?

And YES.  YES.

I have so much change within me.  My heart cries out for change in our society - to house the homeless, feed the hungry, to help the hurting.  To give love.

And in that moment, my heart heard the call for that kind of change, layered beneath my own prejudices and expectations brought about by living in a world where I have never truly been in need.

The world needs change.  I have the means to do something about it.

Can you spare some change?

"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Ghandi

-----

[Side note that the sock idea is one that has come about recently and I really, really want to pursue it.  Shall continue working out the details.]

This Little Light

Let your light shine,

And when the times come where you feel too weak to hold it,

I will lift yours alongside mine,

Until you can carry it again.

And when I begin to weary,

You, my friend, shall do the same for me.

For:

"One candle loses nothing by lighting another."

We all will make it through the darkness with compassion and love to guide our steps.

Bright Heart

Bright heart

Shining in the dark places

Seeking out the shadows

To banish them with hope

Leading down the dreampath

Up to the upside 

Around the agony

Towards togetherness

Beating hard

Bearing hurt

Bringing heaven

Bright heart

25 Little Love Stories

1) That time you weren't mad at me when my alarm didn't go off and you came to my apartment and we practiced and we still made it to the gig.
2) Coming up with our version of Til There was You.
3) Sitting under the tree at Alamo Square Park and watching the dogs play.
4) The sunset at Ocean Beach.
5) Getting through that crazy gig where the piano didn't work.
5) Riding the Great Wheel in Seattle.
6) Trying two other restaurants before finally going to the Java Cafe for sandwiches that were extra-tasty because we were so hungry.
7) Laughing at the ridiculous moment of CGI for Legolas in The Hobbit.
8) Laughing at all of the disaster movies featuring San Francisco in the previews before The Hobbit.
9) The bus ride back from our first gig when we got to talking about Hitchcock.
10) That time a little old woman asked if you were my husband at one of our gigs.
11) Hiking up to Corona Heights park.
12) Finding you in the audience at my recital.
13) That little blue note you play in your intro for Fly Me to the Moon.
14) Holding your hand.
15) The flowers that arrived at the perfect time on my birthday.
16) Exploring Deception Pass on Whidbey Island.
17) Goofing around on the piano in the GGH practice room.
18) Talking the whole time on our long walk on Ocean Beach after Corona Heights.
19) Watching The Grand Budapest Hotel at the Castro Theater.
20) That one rainy day in the fall when I fell for you.
21) Grabbing drinks at The Grove and then complaining about The Grove.
22) Finding the Hayes Valley Inn.
23) Cheesecake.
24) The awe of watching and hearing you play.
25) Finally finding you at the SFO Bart Station.  :P

<3

26

Twenty-six days.
Vingt-six jours.
Sechsundzwanzig Tage.
Ventisei giorni.

:)

Inspiration

Inhalation
Elation
Intoxication
Motivation
Inspiration
Exhalation.

Breathing in
The sweet music
Of inspiration.

10/24 - Happiness Limbo

It's not unhappiness.  So it must be happiness?  Somehow it cannot be neither.  So, simply, I come to the thought that it is merely a dissatisfaction with the way things are.  Though, really, things are fine.  Good, even! Blessings!  But I'm not where I want to end up being.  I'm not doing what I want to end up doing.  I take now as it is, because it is so much better than whatever else I could have (or could not have) been doing, but that doesn't mean I have to stay here.

So I won't.  

Deep Food for Profound Thought

It's funny how the light of life together
Now seems reflected in all things,
Scattering like autumn leaves
Through these days that are the pages of our lives.

It's funny - joyous, and wonderful -
So much so that it tickles the very soul
Until the laughter overflows from
Cheeks that ache from smiling.

I write almost nothing besides love poems,
Love thoughts, love reflections,
And you are writing love songs --
And I love to sing along.

10/21 - Resting

Ah, a day of rest.
Exhausted mid-week but time,
Time rests for no one.

Love Never Ends

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.  But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.  For we know only in part, and we prophecy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.  When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.  For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face.  Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.  And now faith, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:4-13 (NRSVCE)

We are two, partial,
Separate, mirrors...

It is not knowledge
Nor speech
Nor fortune
That brings us together.

It is love.

Endless love
Brings us face to face,
Made full - complete -
In the presence of the other.

Trust, rejoice in its truth,
in its strength,
in its endurance.

Have and hold faith;
have and hold hope;
have and give love.

Rest

Rest in my arms;

Breathe easy, soul of my own;

Let the worries of the day

Be at peace.

Here, in this sacred space,

Where two hearts meet,

You shall find

Rest.

As Breath

As breath,

Sustaining,

As tides,

Pulling, 

As light,

Piercing,

As warmth,

Soothing,

As music,

Enveloping...

Your soul,

And mine.

Hand and Heart

Take my hand,

For you have my heart.

10/16 - I Stand in Awe

I stand in awe and I marvel
At the infinite depth and breadth
Of this creation surrounding us.

I stand in awe and I wonder
At the Divine Love, unending,
That breathes life into all things.

I stand in awe and I give thanks
For knowing the truest beauty of creation
Through the love of another soul.

10/15 - Do What You Love

Do what you love and follow your heart.  It will lead to memorable moments, doing things you never thought you'd do, even on a very simple and small kind of scale.  When we come to the end of life, it will consist of what we did or did not do - I hope to look back on a life of choices guided by my truest self.

10/14 This Love

This love

Lifts me higher

Than I knew

I could reach.

This love 

Gives me strength

When I think

I can't continue.

This love

Sees my heart

Knows my mind

Feels my spirit.

This love

Is your love

Is my love

Is our love.

Gratefulness

My miracle,

My light,

My truth,

My joy,

My blessing,

My one,

My only,

My love:

Thank you for all that you are

And for all that you give me.

Thank you for being

The answer to my prayers of deepest longing.

Thank you for your love.

The Weight of Days

I feel the weight of days.

Sometimes they are pearls,

Treasures, pure and light.

Sometimes they are stones,

Too heavy, burdens on the heart.

Only time shall shift stone into pearl.

So I shall let it pass, joyously.

I shall assemble a string of pearls,

Strung on memories and invaluable,

Heavy with the weight of days.

10/11 Child of Time and Eternity

Every person is a child of time and eternity,
At once in the here and now,
But also living for
What is to come.
May the Love that is longing for us
Be the One to show us
The glories of eternity,
And guide our hearts
To make the joys of eternity
Reach every moment
Of the here and now.

10/10 H

Happy birthday, H!

I wanted to, on this very special day, just celebrate the fact that we have at least 15 years of friendship to look back on and smile about.  No matter the distance between us in time or space, we pick up right where we last left off and begin the chorus of laughter all over again.  You have always stood by my side, encouraging my dreams, celebrating my happiness, and listening to my heart.  I can only hope that I have done the same for you.  Thank you for your amazing friendship.  Here's to the next 15 years as we take this world by storm.  :)

Love you always,
E

10/9 Bright Skies

Bright skies are ahead of us, my dear!

Do you see them?

The rising sun is glowing,

Casting our future in a golden light.

Yes, at times the rain may still fall,

But even then we shall rejoice,

For we need the rain to grow

Just as we need the sunlight.

With your hand in mine

I fear no cloud, no wind, no thunder,

For you will be at my side

To see the sun come out again.

10/8 Was a Thursday

10/8 was a Thursday
In which I got very tired
From a very full day
And therefore did not blog, thinking,
"I'll do it tomorrow."
And then tomorrow came
And I still didn't blog
Because I was very tired.
So then I ended up forgetting
Whatever was significant about 10/8
And thus, the only significant thing
I have to say about 10/8
Is that it was a Thursday.

Attitude

Attitude is everything.

Perspective is a choice.

I choose joy today.

10/6 - Dreams

Slowly but surely, 

Day by day,

Dreams are coming true. 

:)

Getting the Words

Getting the words -

Tongue moves

Millions of miles a minute.

Vowels, plosives, fricatives 

Nasals!

(C'est Français!)

Mais!

Add the notes

And there they go! ... 

All the words

Seem to

Vani.....

Sh!

Here You Shall Find Peace

Rest in my arms

Child of my heart

Here you shall find peace

Come lay down your head

I'll take away your burdens

Here you shall find peace

This love is bigger

Than any you have known

Here you shall find peace

My child I've led you to the light

There is nothing left to fear

There is no pain any longer

There is only heaven's light

Here you shall find peace.

DIY

Is the opportunity for the roles you want to perform not there?

Then do it yourself!

Gather up some opera folks you know, a good collaborative pianist, the easiest space you can find and perform the role and highlights from the show!

Thank you, Ann Baltz, founder and director of OperaWorks, for your constant inspiration and drive to help all of your program participants find their best selves. 

What to Give This World

Share beauty 

Share hope

Share kindness

Share knowledge

Share time

Share love 

There Aren't Words

There aren't words for my heart's hurt today, as friends hurt at the loss of an amazing person from my church community and as the nation hurts for the sorrow of another tragic mass shooting.

I found this song and it says all I can think of to say and feel.

"Be Still and Know" from Scripture Lullabies

9/30 - The Fight in Me

The fight in me
Is for your challenges

The sorrow in me
Is for your pain

The love in me
Is from your love
Is for your life
Is with you always.

Shining

Light of my soul

You shine incessantly

And drive away the shadows

That lurk and try to grasp at

My heart.

You have taken my hand

And you hold it tight

And you have promised

To hold onto it always.

My gratitude can only be expressed

In shining for you

As you shine for me.

Chasing Moonlight

Show me how to chase the moonlight

So I can be with you

I'll send my heart out like a kite

Into the midnight blue

There it waits, among the stars

Holding steady and true

Knowing your heart is not far

And soon one shall be two.

That Still, Small Voice

My heart hears that still, small voice
Answering my call for Love
for Guidance, for Mercy
Asking me to Be Still,
to Trust, to Rejoice

I only pray now that my Life reflect the Truth of the One who Loves.

9/26 - Entitlement

People deserve to be treated fairly.
People deserve to be treated nicely.
It goes both directions.
Please never forget that;
please teach future generations this concept.
We deserve equality.
We don't need to go around acting like we are entitled to more than that.

In other news... it was a show night on Saturday.
Heaven bless the 99% of customers who get it... and the 1% of people who don't.  :P

Joyous Moment

In this joyous moment

I dream of joyous days

Of joyous months and years

That lie ahead 

For two joyous hearts

That have been joyously

Intertwined.

Look Around

Look around in this moment.

Is this moment happy?

Is it all you want?

Is it defining you?

Do you want it to define you?

Because you can choose whether or not it does. 

You can let it rule you or you can rule it. 

You have this power and you're allowed to take it and use it, even though it may seem otherwise. 

Look around and decide.

Brighten

Brighten my day.

Lighten my view.

Open my eyes

To the moment

That's before me.

To its beauty

And its joy,

That are matched

By the beauty

And the joy

My life has

Being with you.