Thursday, April 30, 2015


Sometimes, procrastinating is just procrastinating.

Other times, it is your body and mind protesting against exhaustion on all fronts.

I'm going with the latter and not feeling guilty about having a relaxing evening and hitting the pillows an hour earlier than normal this week.

I'll miss parts of school (aka the people) but I will say that a general lifestyle shift that involves mostly leaving work at work sounds really nice.

That is all.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

"Blake Lively Has Gone Out in 17 Outfits This Week"

... and it's not even Friday.

Really?!  I mean REALLY?!  This popped up in my newsfeed today...

Baltimore.  Nepal.  Gay marriage in the Supreme Court.  The question of a female president.  The Pope calls for equal pay for women.  But no -- Blake Lively's fashion decisions are more worthy of my time and click that results in profits from advertising.


I'm just feeling the need to point out that the world has things that matter and things that maybe matter a little bit less.  But the formulas that govern our media consumption are what enable our knowledge and awareness of the surrounding world.

For the love of humankind -- stay informed, read, and educate yourself instead of allowing Facebook to do it for you.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


Be at peace
Be where you are
Be yourself
Be in yourself
Be alive from belief in your dreams
Be love for those who need it
Be strong
Be open
Be free

Monday, April 27, 2015

It's Not the End

We stand at the edge of one time ready to step onto another. It's only another beginning. Our time together cannot ever end. It merely shifts onto a new plane of existence.

Sunday, April 26, 2015


Today was a day was a day was a day.
Yesterday is long gone long gone long gone.
Tomorrow is not yet not yet not yet.

I need sleep.
And a day off.  Or five.
That is all.

Saturday, April 25, 2015


Go anywhere.
Do anything.
Fear nothing --
There is nothing to fear,
Nothing to lose,
And everything to gain.


I'm full of the feeling that the world is wide and open and I'm ready to run and embrace all of the possibilities.

Little Things

Enjoying the sound of the rain on my window.  :)

Thursday, April 23, 2015


Bumps cuts and a bruise
I guess it's called a rough day
Kept fighting; survived

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


A shaking man who is older than his years squats on the street corner yelling at nothing or maybe at everything.

A young couple done up in designer coats with lattes in hand and their baby in its designer stroller give him a wide berth and wait at the crosswalk.

A trio of biking commuters in creased pants and blazers on their hybrid bikes wait for the light to change while their Timbuktu cases hang from their shoulders.

A line of high-end cars idle at the stoplight with anxious drivers in a hurry to get to the next light and wait some more.

The man is still yelling on the corner.

I sit on the bus and feel the juxtapositions of city life criss-crossing like the veins under my skin.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Precious Moments

Every so often in the last few months I have been hit with the sudden notion of how precious the moments I am experiencing are.  Not all of them; really, not most of them.  Today in Albert Herring rehearsal was one of those moments.

It was casual - just running musical spots before putting Act III on its feet in the space we will be performing in.  My friends were all facing our conductor and concentrating on all of those fast and tricky entrances when the grown-ups interrogate Albert about his crrrrazy night.

Then a chilling thought that these moments with these people are going to end very, very soon.

And then another chill of excitement at all of the potential contained on that stage.

We are all so young and who can tell where we will end up?  We have grown so much together in the last couple of years.  We also have much more to discover and achieve.

This is not the end; it is merely another beginning.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Music Monday

Maybe an occasionally returning post subject!  :)

These were a few stand-outs from my playlist that helped me get through the day.

Ring Them Bells by Hope Waits:

Cheek to Cheek by Jane Monheit:

A Prayer for Mr. Davis by Kurt Elling:

If you give a listen, you can tell I was in a jazz mood today.  These are three great jazz vocalists that I am grateful to have on my iPod.  Both Jane Monheit and Kurt Elling were high school discoveries for me (thanks to my senior year choir teacher Ms. Emans for encouraging that!)  I love Jane's perky take on the slightly reserved tune Cheek to Cheek, made famous by Fred Astaire in the 1930s in the film Top Hat.  It's fun to sing along to!

Hope Waits was a great find by my dad when I was in my first or second year of college.  He really got into the vocal jazz scene and is always uncovering new artists.  Hope's version of Ring Them Bells, originally done by Bob Dylan, struck me with its soulful sound and instantly became one of my favorite songs to get me through a day.

Finally, Kurt Elling brings the evening down with his haunting tune A Prayer for Mr. Davis.  I can't get past the beauty of the lyrics and how the simple musical setting makes them all the more touching.  Elling is one of the names at the top of my list of singers to listen to for text expression period, regardless of genre.  The entire album The Messenger is a favorite of mine, including great hits like Nature Boy, a funny and poignant story-telling piece The Messenger, the enchanting Beauty of All Things, and Endless - a show of word-play at its absolute finest.

I hope you'll give these a listen and maybe find something new to enjoy!

What Can I Give

What can I give
to brighten an hour
to change a day
to make a difference?

What do I have
that has weight
that has depth
that can affect?

What am I called
to witness
to know
and to tell?

I am called for much
I have little to offer
But what I can give
is my heart.

Saturday, April 18, 2015


It was the same dream.

She was running, always running. The Blue One led her by the hand and she could sense the others behind them. They sprinted past rocky outcroppings, the only thing that could grow in the surrounding, vast red desert. Heat shimmered over the cracked earth, their feet breaking though its illusory pools of water.

Her dress was drenched with sweat and it dripped from her face like endless tears, the salt stinging her dry and broken lips. She couldn't speak to the Blue One for want of breath and as her legs gave out from under her, her slick palm slipped from his. The others ran past her, unseeing. She felt her voice break as she tried to cry out, but no sound came.

Then the Green One turned, sensing her absence, and the others stopped at the command.  They seemed to call out to her, waving frantically, but she couldn't hear their voices. She tried to stand and fell again, scraping her arms in the rusty grit.

The Yellow and Blue Ones began to run back to her, suddenly seeming a mile away. She noticed a sharply cold rush of air from behind and, turning, saw what they had been running from. An endless expanse of darkness covered the land and sky inched steadily over their tracks, with snake-like tendrils feeling the way towards her.

At the sight, she struggled to rise, but her body was leaden with fatigue. She felt the others running toward her and watched the darkness creep to engulf her and then a gasp caught in her broken throat.

"I can see."

Then her eyes would snap open to the constant darkness.

Friday, April 17, 2015


Each moment is made up of energy that we have chosen to spend in a certain way.
Today I had many moments of laughter; I spent my energy on being joyful.
Those moments make up hours, which make up days, which make up weeks, months, and years.
Those moments make up a lifetime. 

I want to spend as many as I can on being full of joy.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Bus rides
Leftover pizza
Alarm clock
Broken pencil
Elevator rides
Opening doors
Sitting still
Homework blues
Working hours

I don't know...

Plenty of today's regular activities weren't mundane -- I guess my thoughts drifted to the moments that felt taken for granted?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Best Things

The best things come around when you stop looking and just let life run its course. That doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue them once you recognize them, but you cannot make them happen.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Done with Monday

There's plenty to do,
But I'll finish Game of Thrones-
Last chapter, then sleep.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Memory Lane

Long and winding,
Ever growing;
Fondly recalled
Or shaken out, dusted off,
And tucked away again.

A tear or two,
And mostly joy.

Mine is a road
Filled with light
And I am grateful
That it continues
To help me see the way forward.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Le Sigh

I am very tired.  But feeling oh so accomplished.  And a little bit giddy.

"If all we have come through could not break us, what's ahead can only make us stronger than ever, clearer than ever; I'm closer than ever to you."

Love this show and all of the growth I have found in it.  It's truly a perfect summation of the last two years.  I feel ready (though a little scared, of course) for that next door - next time is now.  :)

Friday, April 10, 2015

Who can tell us who we are?

We are all powerful. Magic is a thing of fairy tales, however much I imagined having it as a child re-enacting the world of Harry Potter (or any of the other great books of the time.) That wish can't be granted. Yet, I firmly believe that we all possess power. It's no secret. There is no key to unlock it, though it can be challenging to find and cultivate from within ourselves.

Our power lies in the strength of our self-confidence, our belief in our self-worth.

Note: this is not arrogance. There's a fine line that can be drawn between the two, but they are fundamentally different. One is ego; the other is truth. One distances us from and the other enhances our understanding of the beings around us and their own inert value.

I cannot say when or where I learned of my power. It has been over the length of my living -- I'm still finding more of its depth and dimension with each passing week, month, and year. Because of the people around me, I have been taught to cherish it, to know that it is cherished. There is not a more beautiful feeling than being allowed to be and able to love yourself (and it is only then that we can fully love others)!

The trick of such valuable power is not allowing it to be taken away. Really, it cannot be taken; we give it. It is whom we give it to that determines whether it grows or withers. Someone whose own confidence and self-worth is weak will often - intentionally or no - stifle that of others. Why we give our power to such people is highly varied, but it can be easy to do on purpose or accident.

What's reassuring is that we can take our power back from those who would diminish it.  At any time, we can turn and say "No."  It's not usually easy to do, or even recognize that someone is doing such a thing to us.  But when we finally can see that it's happening, it is nearly impossible to let it continue.  For, at the core of it all, only we can determine our self-confidence, our worth.  Only we can tell ourselves who we are.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Snap Out of It

Regrets over:
Things said,
Choices made,
Long past.
Still seeing
You there...
It hurts.
It shouldn't.
Still smarts.
My fault,
And yet
You fought
Not once
To show
My wrong,
Which shows
I wasn't.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

There is no timeline!

Sweet, sweet freedom. It has always been there, but for the first time I fully realized that there is no timeline on my life. Or yours. Or anyone's.

I have been mentally battling with my personal expectations for when I should really be married by, in order to have children healthily, and yet also trying to figure out how that wouldn't throw a wrench in my career development. And all of that is crazy because I'm only 23 and a singing career just takes time. And what's even more crazy is that I don't know what I want that career to look like exactly. And, and, and...

"STOP!! THERE IS NO TIMELINE!!" said a voice in my head... (I personally go with God on that one, but y'all do your own thing. I'm ok of you think I'm nuts.)

There is no prescribed definition for how the span of my life should look. The beauty of life is in the differences between people. I already know that I can't apply any other singer's timeline of vocal development to my own - that only serves to drive one mad, believe me! In the literally same exact way, I can't compare the trajectory of my so-far-lived and my to-be-lived life to anyone else's (or my perceived ideas of the lives of others.) What an absolutely freeing idea!!

Logically, I know this is the case. It just makes sense. But with graduation looming, the mind gets into the rut of forecasting the next 25 years... at least, mine does -- every time without fail. Today was the first day that I began to (Lord knows I've got miles to go) truly internalize the concept that the only expectations I must meet are my own. When I loosen my grip on my grasp of have tos and musts, I find that I feel a pressure lifting. I can breathe and not hyperventilate. I can rest without worry. I can be where I am and let that lead to where I'm going.

Because, try as we might, we can only ever be where we are. Trying to make more happen in a time that hasn't yet come is only impossible and exhausting. I don't want to live a life of surviving the present to reach the future. The rich possibilities of the future are only there when we choose to affect the now we are in.

Luckily, that's exactly what we can do. Because, again, there is no designated plan we have to match up with, or else be outcast from a "successful" life. There aren't any expectations that are more important than your own goals and dreams. Best of all, those dreams and goals are allowed to change!

We aren't static creatures. We are meant to grow. And when we are fully allowed to grow is when we flourish -- all in our own time.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

To Sleep

...Perchance to dream.
Ay, there's the rub.

I am just very tired. So I'll just quote Shakespeare like an English nerd and do that. But the regular kind of sleep... Not the death kind. :)

Monday, April 6, 2015

All I Want

is the rain.

Rain and change the air around me.
Start fresh, begin anew.
A mighty storm to shake foundations
And all my life renew.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Taking the Risk

Dancing with life to the bold tune of risk,
Minute changes, practically meaningless.
Cannot yet name the effect of the cause
So the unknown can excuse every pause.
Courage or bravery aren't amiss;
It's solely a question of benefits:
Would they outweigh all the cons of the list?
Can't ever know until taking the risk.


Who can roll away the stone?
It is only by faith that we are able
To open our hearts to the possibility
Of rising above the challenges we must face.

Friday, April 3, 2015


... is best when time and distance can't change the truest parts of who you are together.  :)

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Why I Sing

My heart feels full to bursting and all I want to do is sing!
I want to break out into song right here on the muni train and for everyone to hear the same music and have the same feeling. Exuberance.
I want to sing at full forte and fill hearts.

When I get to sit in the audience at professional shows, I almost always have moments of wanting to just cry from happiness. My heart soars and longs to sing. That is why I do this - so others can feel this happy too.

That is why I sing.