Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Shining

Light of my soul
You shine incessantly
And drive away the shadows
That lurk and try to grasp at
My heart.

You have taken my hand
And you hold it tight
And you have promised
To hold onto it always.

My gratitude can only be expressed
In shining for you
As you shine for me.

Chasing Moonlight

Show me how to chase the moonlight
So I can be with you
I'll send my heart out like a kite
Into the midnight blue
There it waits, among the stars
Holding steady and true
Knowing your heart is not far
And soon one shall be two.






Sunday, September 27, 2015

That Still, Small Voice

My heart hears that still, small voice
Answering my call for Love
for Guidance, for Mercy
Asking me to Be Still,
to Trust, to Rejoice

I only pray now that my Life reflect the Truth of the One who Loves.

9/26 - Entitlement

People deserve to be treated fairly.
People deserve to be treated nicely.
It goes both directions.
Please never forget that;
please teach future generations this concept.
We deserve equality.
We don't need to go around acting like we are entitled to more than that.

In other news... it was a show night on Saturday.
Heaven bless the 99% of customers who get it... and the 1% of people who don't.  :P

Friday, September 25, 2015

Joyous Moment

In this joyous moment
I dream of joyous days
Of joyous months and years
That lie ahead 
For two joyous hearts
That have been joyously
Intertwined.

Look Around

Look around in this moment.

Is this moment happy?

Is it all you want?

Is it defining you?

Do you want it to define you?

Because you can choose whether or not it does. 

You can let it rule you or you can rule it. 

You have this power and you're allowed to take it and use it, even though it may seem otherwise. 

Look around and decide.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Brighten


Brighten my day.
Lighten my view.
Open my eyes
To the moment
That's before me.
To its beauty
And its joy,
That are matched
By the beauty
And the joy
My life has
Being with you.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

An Open Letter

Oh you are extraordinary, great love of mine!  Each moment we share, together or apart, brings joy beyond description into my life.

You move me with your talent and passion for the wonderful art of music, the art that connected our paths before we ever knew they would cross, let alone join together.

I cherish every note you play, sing, and write; each piece that we have performed together is dear to me; the songs we have heard and connected to will always hold a special place in my heart.

I look forward to all of the music our lives will be filled with my love. ❤️ 

Monday, September 21, 2015

Fortune

"When the flowers bloom, so will great joy in your life."

Yes, it's a fortune cookie saying from Panda Express. (Side note: yes, I gave into the craving for orange chicken.)

My first thought, beyond not ever taking these things seriously, was "in spring time..." which is when we think of flowers blooming. That seems like a long time away with tomorrow being the first day of autumn.

But I thought some more and realized that flowers are blooming everywhere, every day. Even in the winter, there are flowers that bloom and bring color to the world. And if flowers are blooming every day, so can great joy. 

There is colorful joy to be found in each and every day.

What a fortunate realization. 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

It Only Takes A Moment

A cold moment in the heart:

Picturing this life
And having it questioned - 

Mere meanderings of the mind
Or some divine inspiration?

I keep the faith
But I know to doubt myself, too.

Yet the heart is warmed, again, in a moment:

This time with comfort,
Blanketed in reassurance - 

These pictures of life are right
Are true and divinely given.

I keep my faith in the warmth of this hope,
And I know not to doubt.

Sing

"Sing, sing a song,
Sing it loud (proud?), sing it strong..."

I am meant to sing. 

There is not very much I know with absolute confidence in this world, but that is one thing I do know with certainty all the way to the core of my soul.

And my soul wants to find its way back to that as a focus of my existence. Life has been coming between us. Time to re-discover balancing in the way that I want to, not the way that I think I need to.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Okay

Okay, I'm sick,
But not very sick.

Okay, money's tight,
But not too tight.

Okay, we're apart,
But not forever apart.

Jobs
Beds
Education
Friends
Dreams
Hope

Okay, so life is 
Way better than okay.

:)

----------
Just feeling grateful for all of the goodness in life. 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Denial

Prob'ly getting sick.
Ugh I do not want to be!
No no no no no!

-----
Denial is the strongest medicine... Haha. Wah.

The One I Love

Every love song
That plays on the radio,
Every picturesque afternoon
That I see through my window,
Every little thing
That makes me laugh or smile,
Every moment of joy
In each day that we feel together,
My soul shares with you,
The one I love. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Knowing

It's a soft warmth,
A glowing within;
A settling of nerves
And thoughts;
A release of breath
You didn't know you were holding;
The air brightens;
The birds sing,
And your heart with them.
This is the peace 
Of knowing.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Monday Haiku

Take each day in stride,
Fully and with gratefulness,
And you'll see the good.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Be Still

Be still.
Be still.
Be still and know
That I am God.

Be still.
Be still.
Be still and know
That I am God.

I will be your refuge
Your shelter in the night
Do not fear the darkness
I am the endless Light
Let your feet be guided
On the path that's straight and true
And when you start to weary
I will carry you.  
I will carry you.

Be still.
Be still.
Be still and know
That I am God.

Be still.
Be still.
Be still and know
That I am God.

O mighty God of Jacob
To whom Creation sings
You call us here before You
To let go of all we bring
Our empty hearts are longing
To come receive our fill
Of the love you died to give us.
Let us know you and be still.
Let us know you and be still.

Be still.
Be still.
Be still and know
That I am God.

Be still.
Be still.
Be still and know
That I am God.

Be still and know
That I am God.

Lessons from Dogs - 9/12

Live in the moment.
Give your full attention.
Once you've made a decision, enjoy it!
Rest when you're tired, without apologizing.
Love unabashedly.
Play!
Smile, with teeth.
Be persistent when you want something.
Be. Simply, be.

<3

Friday, September 11, 2015

don't look for me anymore

This past March, I sang a chamber piece for my graduate recital entitled "Race for the Sky" by Richard Pearson Thomas.  It has four movements, three of which are settings of poems found in the city of New York in the aftermath of September 11, 2001.  This last one is my favorite, I think because it contains hope - hope in future recovery though sharing love with those around us.  It is about feeling the pain, accepting it, and letting it go; about not looking any longer for that which is lost to us, for past happiness in shards of a shattered reality; about the love that pervades our existence and how it carries on in every person who chooses to share it.  

This is what my graduate recital, Songs of War and Peace, was truly focused on.  How, in the midst of the most terrible trials of this earth, we as a people, all around the world, can and will persevere towards peace via loving one another.  For there is no way to operate with love without also living compassionately, honestly, and peacefully.  I hope and pray that these are the traits we work towards cultivating in both ourselves and in future generations.

don't look for me anymore - Graduate Recital
with the incomparable Mai Linh Pham (piano) and Katie von Braun (violin)

"don’t look for me anymore
it’s late and you are tired
your feet ache standing atop the ruins of our twins
day after day searching for a trace of me

don’t look for me anymore
your eyes are burning red
your hands cut bleeding sifting through rock
day after day searching for a trace of me

it’s my turn, I’m worried about you
watching as you sift through the ruins of what was
day after day in the soot and the rain
I ache in knowing you suffer my death

don’t look for me anymore
hold my children as I would
hold my sisters, hold my brothers
hold my children for me
since I can’t bring them up with the same
love you gave me
I’ll rest assured
you’re watching my children

it’s late and you’re tired
go home and rest
and don’t look for me anymore"

- by Alicia Vasquez


Thursday, September 10, 2015

Little Dreams

Little dreams 
Of autumn and winter
Falling leaves 
Soft snow
And knowing that
They are sweet dreams
Alone
But they are 
Even better
And ever bigger
When we trust 
And let them grow.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

I Missed This Day!

This day was missed, among the mess
Of coming home and lacking rest,
Of coming back and going away
To work and earn for another day,
And so it slipped between the cracks
And now my brain I try to wrack
To sum up something good to say
About a mundane mid-week day.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Measures

Measure my love by starlight
     unveiled in a fading sunset;
By the gentle sweetness of a rose
     unfolding petal by petal on the vine;
By the caress of wave upon shore
     unceasingly returning an eternal kiss;
By the tickle of laughter upon the lips
     unafraid to be heard or felt.

Measure my love and find it
     unending.

9/7

I'll be away awhile,
But never gone.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Chasing Sunset

There is little to be sure of 
In this old wide world
But my love, with you
All I long to be, for all eternity 
Is greeting mornings
Chasing sunsets
And keeping each moment
In between
In the deepest parts of our hearts.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

I am There

I am there

In the silence of the night
The stillness of the dark
With your beating heart,
I am there.

I am there

In the tickles of laughter 
And the warmth of a smile
With your sparkling eyes
I am there.

I am there

In the soft touch of a hand
The gentle reassurance of an embrace
With your lips meeting mine
I am there.

Even if I am not there
I am there.

Immersed

And as the tide washes over me
I am filled with the wonder 
That is being immersed in your presence. 

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Phoenix

"I never thought that there was a point to it all. To anything. That our being here, our existing just didn't matter. That there was no why, no greater purpose. I grew up alone - without anyone there to tell me otherwise or prove me wrong. 
But then I met you. And I didn't want to believe you at first. Your determination to do more than just exist made me sick with anger. I pushed you away.
Then, when I was alone again and suddenly faced with not being alive the next day, I knew you were right. That I had this need, this will to live til the next day. And I knew that I hadn't wanted to believe you because I was scared. I was afraid to care at all, for anything, and risk losing any sense of precious happiness when it disappeared on me. 
But you came for me. And you were still here when I woke up. You're still here now. You're not going to disappear, are you?"

-------
When characters talk in your head. :)

Guiding Light

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Jeremiah 29:11

This is one of my favorite verses that always comes to mind when the future starts to feel uncertain or unclear. And it is entirely true. All I know that has come into my life, making it full of goodness and joy, has come from trusting that still, small voice - a voice that can only be heard when we allow our hearts and our minds to be quiet, rest, and listen for it. 

All shall be made right. Every day has a bit of hope in it, a bit of light to guide us along the right path. We will not be led astray.