11/22 - Enough

You are finished and complete.  You are enough.  You do not have to try to do more to be who you are, to express your heart to the world.  Simply allow the breath to begin and let the song come from your heart.

Today

Today was a full day of singing and as much as I stressed about it, all of it was fun and so fulfilling.

Pre-audition selfie:

Mid-show selfie:

I'm doing this whole "singing for a living" thing. How cool is that?!

DIY

Is the opportunity for the roles you want to perform not there?

Then do it yourself!

Gather up some opera folks you know, a good collaborative pianist, the easiest space you can find and perform the role and highlights from the show!

Thank you, Ann Baltz, founder and director of OperaWorks, for your constant inspiration and drive to help all of your program participants find their best selves. 

Musician's Prayer

"Oh Lord, please bless this music that it might glorify your name. May the talent that you have bestowed upon me be used only to serve you.

Let this music be a witness to your majesty and love, and remind us that you are always watching, and listening, from your throne above.

May your presence and beauty be found in every note, and may the words that are sung reach the hearts of your people so they will draw closer to you.

May your Spirit guide us through every measure so that we might be the instruments of your peace, and proclaim your glory with glad voices."

Found: here

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The sun was a fiery orange tonight as it lit the sky over R's memorial service, its burning color a product of the summer wildfires to the east.  But my heart and hands were burning, too, lit with a fire of the Holy Spirit, who was reaching out to comfort those in mourning. 

I have little to give -- especially tonight where I was singing in front of more strangers than friends.  However, what I can give, what I have been so absolutely blessed to be able to give, is music.  Music that reaches hearts, that uplifts grieving souls, and that I sincerely hope inspires people to sing as well.  I am grateful for thanks and kind words after a service, but beyond my own "thank you" for people who take the time to share their experiences with me, often the only other words I have are that "I'm glad to serve."  My heart is filled from witnessing such an immense and unending Love and sharing it with people in a way that inspires emotion ... emotion that I know comes from an understanding of such Love as well. 

That's why I found these words of this prayer so perfect and grounding before tonight's service.  "Let this music be a witness to your majesty and love... May your presence and beauty be found in every note, and may the words that are sung reach the hearts of your people so they will draw closer to you." 

I am called to be a witness to and to share the presence of Unending Love -- how can I keep from singing?

to Sing

to Sing perchance to Fly;
i Soar on the wings of sound
to Reach both the height and depth
of Being human - of human Being.

oh music!
at once the cause and effect,
the why and the answer.

the reason for Singing:
to Sing perchance to Fly.

Little Bird

This bird is singing
I could have danced all night
For the first time
With an inkling of understanding
That a precious life moment
Has just occurred
And no matter what happens in the time to come
It will remain an eternally treasured gift.

Dream Roles

Tracy Turnblad
Maria von Trapp
Elphaba
Glinda

... This is a limited list because I'm tired. Watching Hairspray for an assignment (!) and thoroughly enjoying it. :)

Le Sigh

I am very tired.  But feeling oh so accomplished.  And a little bit giddy.

"If all we have come through could not break us, what's ahead can only make us stronger than ever, clearer than ever; I'm closer than ever to you."

Love this show and all of the growth I have found in it.  It's truly a perfect summation of the last two years.  I feel ready (though a little scared, of course) for that next door - next time is now.  :)

Why I Sing

My heart feels full to bursting and all I want to do is sing!
I want to break out into song right here on the muni train and for everyone to hear the same music and have the same feeling. Exuberance.
Light.
Joy.
I want to sing at full forte and fill hearts.

When I get to sit in the audience at professional shows, I almost always have moments of wanting to just cry from happiness. My heart soars and longs to sing. That is why I do this - so others can feel this happy too.

That is why I sing.

How Can I Keep From Singing?

Graduate recital was tonight 3/14/15.

I have never been both in and out of my body at the same time or had time move simultaneously slow and fast.  I have also never quite known singing from my heart in this way, for so many people that I love, until now.

I will never forget this night. :)

Recital Jitters

... I don't have them yet! What?! I'm just really excited to sing for all of the people who are coming and celebrate this accomplishment with them after. :) Vedremo....