Steady

Set down onto rocky, parched earth,
My limbs stay spring-loaded
Ready to leap from a desert-place of discomfort.
Change has charged my fortifications,
Shaken and stirred up storms of worry.

I have to ride out the squalls,
To let myself feel the ripping seams of what was known,
To cry out for the old,
To breathe in the stinging, fresh air,
To grow anew.

But in spite of raging tempests
Blown in on shifting winds,
I am steady.
I am rooted to the earth
In knowing the depth of your love.

Home

I've traded skyscrapers for mountains,
Sirens for coyote howls,
Car horns for frog calls,
Hundreds of street lights for more stars,
Asphalt for seas of trees,
Drought for full rivers,
But nothing can replace the people.
So I'm starting to understand
That home exists as
A little bit of everywhere,
A little bit of everything,
And a little bit of everyone.
I can live with that.

The Beauty of the Earth

The beauty of the earth lies in its variance - in dappled colors, shifting clouds, ebbing tides.  It is a contradiction of constant change.  There is no better reminder of this than traveling through forests, with sudden sweeping views of coast land.  My father and I paused very briefly in the Humboldt Redwoods State Park today (on our journey back to Seattle) and I found a magnet with an amazing poem to sum up the feelings left in my spirit under the canopies of such ancient creation.  And, most appropriately, it is by Joseph Strauss, one of the designers of the Golden Gate Bridge.

The Redwoods

Joseph B. Strauss

Here, sown by the Creator's hand.

In serried ranks, the Redwoods stand:

No other clime is honored so,

No other lands their glory know.

The greatest of Earth's living forms,

Tall conquerors that laugh at storms;

Their challenge still unanswered rings,

Through fifty centuries of kings.

The nations that with them were young,

Rich empires, with their forts far-flung,

Lie buried now-their splendor gone:

But these proud monarchs still live on.

So shall they live, when ends our days,

When our crude citadels decay;

For brief the years allotted man,

But infinite perennials' span.

This is their temple, vaulted high,

And here, we pause with reverent eye,

With silent tongue and awestruck soul;

For here we sense life's proper goal:

To be like these, straight, true and fine,

to make our world like theirs, a shrine;

Sink down, Oh, traveler, on your knees,

God stands before you in these trees.

5/28/15 Friendship

I'm eternally grateful for the amazing friends in my life.  I am lucky to have people who are willing to move all of my crap down four flights of stairs for some mimosas, donuts, and strawberries, who are willing to wait patiently when most things don't go according to plan, who text and call me incessantly when wonderful things happen in my life, who insist on taking pictures, who get me out and about exploring the world around me, and who always, always, always make me laugh.  Times of change are difficult but they are also when the truest parts of friendship are depended upon, revealed, and celebrated.  Love to you all.

5/27/15 Pieces of Heaven

"It's a long and rugged road
And we don't know where we're headed,
But we know it's gonna get us where we're going.
And when we find what we're looking for,
We'll drop these bags and search no more
'Cause it's gonna feel like heaven when we're home."
~ "Heaven When We're Home" by The Wailin' Jennys



Life is not perfect.  It can't ever be.  But I'm beginning to find that perhaps it contains little pieces of heaven.  If we keep our hearts open to what our paths come across, we are able to discover more and more.  Maybe this is how true happiness is cultivated.

I am quite happy.

5/26/15 -- So late!

I want to expand more on these thoughts but in a rather pinched time schedule I will say:

I enjoyed the musical The Book of Mormon! I was particularly impressed with the music - every bitingly satirical lyric is superbly arranged over tight, exciting harmonies. I can see how this show won 9 Tony's.

Is it the "Best Musical of this Century" as advertised?  Eh.  It's certainly fun and pushes the envelope in terms of what's "appropriate" for public entertainment.  But once the shock factor of the language recedes, I felt like the strength of the main character Elder Price decreases somewhat with the quick wrap up of the plot in Act II, which left me minutely disappointed overall.  I did like the rise of Elder Cunningham as a character and that the two are able to come to balance and true friendship in their relationship.

Perhaps, though, I am used to stories that end in redemption for all, despite this being a rare occurrence in real life?  Resolution, at least in an expected way, is never really achieved in the story.  I think I would have to see it again to determine whether this is an ultimate strength or weakness.  Either way, I laughed quite frequently so it was all worth it.  :)

5/25/15

Good friends, good wine, and good laughs.
Now good sleep.

BREATHE

Breathe
Respect
Encourage
Aspire
Take Your Time
Here & Now
Enjoy

Things to remember in the midst of change - the loss and the gain.

Breathe.  It's what sustains you.  And there's not a lot that can make you stop.  Even when things seem overwhelming, you can keep breathing.

Respect yourself.  Respect others.

Encourage yourself and others.  No one gains anything from tearing themselves or the people around them down.  Everyone needs uplift - be that for all.

Aspire to great things.  You are capable and worthy of the dreams you have.  Don't settle for less.

Take your time on your journey.  Most of us are lucky with a long life.  The best things take time.  Let yourself have it.

Here and now are the only true moments.  We build on the past and work towards the future, but the only place we can ever truly be is where we are.  Cherish each moment.

Enjoy yourself.  You are worthy of happiness.  Keep joy in your heart and share it.  It can only grow.



"One candle loses nothing by lighting another."

So, BREATHE.  <3

Take a Chance

When something comes across your path that feels too good to be true, do you try for it or let your doubts hold you back?  More and more life is telling me that the answer is to just take a chance. Logic it out, weigh your options, but then follow your heart.

Take a breath, take a chance, take your time. :)

Together

All at once I feel

Intensely within myself

And yet entirely at ease

And Then

And then, sometimes, life takes you by surprise and the things you hoped for work out even better than you had dared to imagine.

H

Nothing ever changes between us and that is what makes our friendship so special!  Can you believe that it's been 16 years?!?!  In spite of any distance and amount of time we pick up like we just saw each other yesterday.  I cherish that!!  I am incredibly proud of you for pursuing your dreams.  Your fearlessness has always inspired me and I hope to face the "make or break" moments of my life with your same sense of just jumping into whatever choice you think is best.  I can't wait to see you in real life soon!  <3

Little Bird

This bird is singing
I could have danced all night
For the first time
With an inkling of understanding
That a precious life moment
Has just occurred
And no matter what happens in the time to come
It will remain an eternally treasured gift.

I love dogs!!!

Really.  I LOVE dogs. It's not a problem yet but it might be some day.

Today I saw a corgi and stopped in my tracks and squealed.  They are my good luck charm and per Ellen's suggestion my future lovebug of a corgi will be named Lucky.

:)

My Top 10 Moving Tips

1 - Don't panic that you waited until the day you have to leave.
2 - You don't need boxes.  Just use all of those paper bags you've hoarded for the last year and a half because they cost you 10 cents each and you always forgot the damn reusable ones.
3 - Keep everything.  Yes you might need it someday.
4 - It's important to have chocolate.
5 - Breaks are important.  Packing should be a break from taking breaks.
6 - Wrap everything in articles of clothing, including all of your clothing.  You might have to buy more.
7 - Can't fit those dishes?  Give up.  Seriously, just stay.
8 - Get your friends to come with you AND prevent all of your stuff from shifting in the back of the van by locking them in there.  Lure them with pizza and beer.
9 - Remember why it will be worth it.  Then tell me.


-----
Hah.  I got started today and am not feeling nearly as pessimistic as this comes off, I promise.

Saturday Songs

I want to do a Music Monday... but it's Saturday so we're going with "Saturday Songs" for this musical segment!

Today's feature are two of my favorite bluegrass/folk/country-lite [??] bands.  Both consist entirely of fabulous ladies.

First - The Good Lovelies:
"Best I Know"

The Good Lovelies are a Canadian group headed by the vocal and instrumental talents of Caroline Brooks, Kerri Ough, and Sue Passmore.  They have tended toward a folk vibe in the past but have a new album coming out on May 26th (!!!) Burn the Plan that is described as a step away from the styles of their previous recordings.  They do covers of course, but I've found their original songs to be fun, touching, real, and just great to listen to.  I discovered them with my dad last summer at a Lake Meridian Summer Concert in my hometown in WA.  We were looking for something to do, I looked them up and was intrigued.  Cue the beginning of a love story.  I'm looking forward to getting their next album!!  (They do upbeat stuff too; these are just two of my absolute favorite songs of theirs.)

"Old Highway"

Second - The Wailin' Jennys:
"Glory Bound"

The Wailin' Jennys are another mainly Canadian group originating from Winnipeg, Manitoba.  What was supposed to be a one-time-only guitar-shop performance turned into a super successful trio of highly talented ladies: Ruth Moody, Nicky Mehta, and Heather Massey (who is from Maine... which is practically Canadian, let's face it.)  :)  They are all classically trained in some way, whether vocally or instrumentally, and each has a well-established solo career outside of the Jennys themselves.  Their styles cover bluegrass/folk of course, but also a bit of alternative, pop, and Celtic-inspired as well.  Their version of "The Parting Glass" is the first song I ever heard of theirs and I was immediately hooked.  My favorite song they sing, however, is "One Voice," which Ruth Moody was recognized for at the International Song Competition.

And with that beautiful message, I'm signing off.

Love&Harmony,

Erin

Old Wisdom

Sometimes dad is right - breathe steam to help get gunk out of your lungs.

All You Need is Love

"All together now!"

All we need is love, truly.
For ourselves, for our fellow people, for creation.

If we care, we try not to harm or hurt or judge.  We allow and encourage existence, growth, and prosperity.

We need to keep trying to add more of that to the world.

Change

Unceasing rhythm
An inevitable force
Constant in inconstancy
True to its nature

11:11

Wishes:

That we choose kindness
That we challenge each other to love
That we decide to care

11:12

----
It was a tough night out on the corner by school. A lot of people were there asking for help on this cold and windy evening.

"What do I have, if not my two hands?"

I'm Done

The final paper is submitted.  Time to sleep.

Gonna Make It

One last all nighter to end my college career?

Maybe.

Ugh.

Have you ever dreamt in black and white?

I slept for three days and woke up to a world that was black and white.  Sounds were echoes.  Nothing carried scent or taste.  I kept to the dark because the light hurt my eyes.  The strangest part was that no one seemed to notice me.  It wasn't until I saw them leave the house with programs for my funeral that I knew I had died.

-----

I really did have a dream that took place partially in black and white the other night.  There was color as well but when my perspective shifted to that of a ghost's (it was some kind of beginning of a cheesy horror film that I was either watching or filming or... something...) everything went to shades of grey.  Kind of cool.  :)

Live Performance

is thrilling and nerve-wracking
terrible when it goes wrong
wonderful when you save it
amazing when it goes right
fun when you let loose
best in the moment
impossible without friends.

Small Things

This is a week where I've needed a mom to help keep my life on order. And while I called my mom on her birthday and ended up feeling more joyous after surprising her, I had to handle all of the overwhelming things myself. (Is that the secret of adulthood - being your own mom??) Haha. (But really... ;) )
Lo and behold, time passed, things happened, and I accomplished tasks. I'm ending today grateful for small things, like time to get some laundry done and clean up my room. Feeling less stressed and ready for Albert Herring round 2 at SFCM tomorrow night!

Looking for Goodness

"You're far too apt to like people in general," commented Elizabeth.

Perhaps because I'm looking for goodness, which tends to be easily discovered.

Second Monday

Late to bed and early to rise
Makes me a grump and brings tears to my eyes.

I deem today "Second Monday."

Time for Wednesday.

Counting Down

I hate to admit it but I'm counting down the days until classes are done and my life can calm down.

What Do I Have?

"What do I have, if not my two hands?"

A remarkable bit of words from a piece by a remarkable woman -- The She-Who Songs by Elinor Armer.  This is the line that sticks with me every time we have rehearsed and performed this trio.

What do I have, if not my two hands?...

What can I be but a servant?
What am I worth beyond what I can give?

Red Sands

With the first breath came the sun, all fire and heat.  Alone in the cold darkness, he let a drop of his fire fall into the vastness, which became the heart of the Earth.  As time passed, the Earth grew and cooled, with blue waters and green lands forming upon her skin.  The Sun marveled at her beauty and loved it so much that he moved around and around to warm her.  But he could not keep both sides of the Earth warm, so he dropped another bit of fire on her other side, that he could light from afar, so she would always know how his love shone for her.  Thus came the Moon.  

Yet, despite his adoration of the Earth, there came a time when the Sun fell in love with the Moon as well.  The Moon crossed between the Sun and Earth and from that union came the stars.  When the Earth felt the shadow of the love between the Moon and Sun, she wept.  In her anger, she took her fire-heart and crushed it into dust.  This is our home - the Red Desert - where the Earth broke her own heart.

--------

This is a legend of the people who inhabit the red-sanded place described in the little fiction from a week or so ago, entitled "Laelani."  Just something that popped into my head tonight, enhancing a novel idea that has been with me for a very long time.

Dream Roles

Tracy Turnblad
Maria von Trapp
Elphaba
Glinda

... This is a limited list because I'm tired. Watching Hairspray for an assignment (!) and thoroughly enjoying it. :)